It seems the older my kids get the more waiting around I have to do. Somedays they don’t put shoes on until we are walking out the door like it is somehow the first time they have ever left the house. Other days there are times when they forget to brush their teeth and that is the day they decide to actually take the full two minutes to really brush them well. I am not always calm on days like that.

On Wednesdays, my daughter has her lessons so I wait in the car. Sometimes it is freezing cold and other times it is boiling hot.

Today I am waiting as Aidan is practicing percussion which basically means everything in his life is a drum. The counter, back of my car seat, dinner table… it can be rather annoying.

I just paid the bill for this month’s lessons. I kinda shudder at how expensive all of these lessons and equipment are.

Some days it makes me think of my own childhood, my lifelong dream was to play an instrument. That was not in the cards when I grew up for a number of reasons. My bucket list doesn’t have a ton on it. Play an instrument, visit South America and Antartica so I can finish my continent checklist, and a few other things. Maybe that is why I think these experiences are so important for my kids.

Some days I am proud that I can actually afford to pay for the opportunity. I am thankful for the school district that allows me to bring my kids with me to work and how much they value fine arts.

If I can shift my thinking just slightly, the waiting isn’t so bad.

Today my daughter stayed home sick. I think now I have a problem, Fortnite. I can totally see why the kids talk about it, watch videos of other people playing and can’t wait to get home to play again.

That got us thinking… what if we offered a summer class for teachers? Maybe have them play things like Minecraft and Fortnite, then explore various social media sites. The big idea is to learn a little bit more about the lives their kids lead.

Would this make a difference? Would knowing where your kids are at and investing time exploring those worlds might help make new connections.

It is kinda like showing up at one of your student’s sports games.

Then again maybe it is just a way for me to play these games at work and call it research.

I used to have a part-time job at the mall working at the fruit stand. The best part was the people watching. My favorite part was watching how people interacted with each other and how they treated the staff. While we sold very high-end fruits we got every walk of life in our tiny mini store. My guess is we had famous people in that store almost every single week. I always watched them the closet, observing how they treated those around them.

In front of my desk is a long row of newly installed windows. I think they stretch maybe two hundred feet, it is a lot of glass. The odd thing is some of the panes are walking in the frame leaving small gaps to the outside. No one can totally understand why it is happening but it is. The last two weeks the glass guy has been out to adjust the windows and look for solutions as to why things are moving.

The other day we struck up a conversation and it turns out he collects very rare pottery that was made in town in the early 1900s. It is so rare that the art museum has documented his collection and even bought one of his vases. What he taught me about collecting and the museum was impressive.

I see how people look at him from time to time. I feel it is exactly what we tell kids to not do, judge a book by its cover.

I don’t really know where I am going with this but maybe it is to stop and observe the world around you. Everyone has a story. Everyone is like an onion, so many layers. Do we have the patients to really peel them back? I would say we have the time, because we all watch TV, play fortnite, look at random apps but maybe peel a little tiny bit of that time off and talk to someone new today.

Who will you meet for the first time today?

“It’s a dog–eat–dog world, Sammy, and I’m wearing Milkbone underwear.”

“There is no such thing as spare time, no such thing as free time, no such thing as downtime. All you got is life time. Go.”

I drove to work today on heavily salted roads. The last two days they predicted freezing rain and snow that never materialized. There must a million gallons of brine on the roads. So much that I think I can taste it. I honestly think the air is slightly sweeter today than it was just twenty-four hours ago.

I know this isn’t true but sometimes your mind just fills in the cracks.

That sweetness is like missing a loved one who is gone. While things were not always great, sometimes many months would go by without even a single word passed between, the sweetness rises to the top.

That is what I am choosing to look at, the sweetness of life.

Today I’m taking the grime of the road to remind myself that life is sweet. It is all about perspective.

People said my Grandfather had an accent but I never heard it, he was just Gramps to us.

While he did grow up overseas he sounded just like everyone else, no accent. Thinking back on it now I wonder how it was even possible. How did I miss it?

After I got out of the service Gramps and I traveled back home to visit the family, many of these people I had never met.

I remember hearing all of them speak, accents all around but never for Gramps.

I wonder how many things, good and otherwise, in my life that I do not see anymore. Kinda like the pile of papers on the counter that isn’t there until company knocks on the door. You know what I’m talking about.

Not sure how to see the unseen and unhearable but I’m going to try.

A gentle rain was falling the other night and that reminded me of Gramps. Whenever it was misting out he would always say “Tis a soft rain”. Soft rain always reminds me of him.

 

• How old is he? Oh… 36 months today!
• How long has he been gone? Just about seven months now…
• How long did you serve? Four long and painful years.

I had all these thought about time lately. I am struck how often we feel the need to mark things off. Like seven months is insignificant but six month mark is big. We count the months off to make the ages of our kids but stop at some point, maybe at three or about four years.

In the Corps we marked it with a count down, how many more wake ups you had until you were released. Seems that has more to do with prison time than anything else.

Maybe it has to do with some odd human connection to math or calendars. It has always bugged me a ton.

I saw this quote from henry Rollins about time and it hit home.

“There is no such thing as spare time, no such thing as free time, no such thing as downtime. All you got is life time. Go.”

It hit me and reminded me that the life time we all got is quickly evaporating. We all put off too much. All we got is life time. Go.

Last last few weeks I have spent two hours in a freezing cold lunch room as my daughter practices for an upcoming band concert. Sometimes I dread it. I know that these late nights mean less than one hands worth of sleep.

Tonight the temperature is dropping bringing in cold rain. As I stand under an overhang feeling the cold, damp air I am transported back to another life. Funny how it was only four years but it takes up so much space in my head.

I told someone once that those four years are like dog years so really it was more like twenty eight years long.

I recall many days living soaking wet and cold. Soaking wet and hot. Soaking wet on top of being soaking wet.

It was miserable. Sometimes I miss it.

I think the last time I spoke to my brother we both refused to budge. It was maybe a bit after eight in the morning and he was too busy to leave home. I wasn’t about to drive thirty minutes to go visit him. Now that I think of it we didn’t even talk. We just texted.

Sometimes I regret not driving to see him. Sometimes I wonder why I refuse to give in. Sometimes I wonder why making a simple meal was so time consuming.

I can’t even recall when I last talked to him or what it was about.

Maybe it is just better to remember the good times and not the regrets. Choosing to foucs on the happy lightens the day.

Not until I was 27 did I drive.

Didn’t have a chance when I was a kid. I did have maybe three lessons of driver ed but there was an issue with billing and so I stopped going.

I walked everywhere.

In college I rode my bike.

I didn’t drive until I was 27 and starting student teaching.

I took the above image driving downtown the other day. Most every day I am so thankful to get in my car and drive. No walking. No getting rained on. No sweating through my clothes as I walk. I can buy as much as I want at the grocery and never fear getting it all home.

What I do miss is the processing time I had between school and home. The alone thinking time is something I miss.